Its been 8 years since my last post but today when I had an off day and had time to introspect I didn't want to go to Facebook and post it as an international problem rather felt at home on my blog.
Major part of the last 8 years has been career, marriage, relationships and touring the world.
How do you confront someone when you are supposed to make a commitment that you know is uncertain yet assure the other person that it is a 100% done deal?. How do you start on something from -100% to 0 to 100%? I can understand starting from 0% to 100% in any situation. To create something out of nothing is genius agreed but how to create something when there is less than nothing, i.e you create a small component for a larger picture but it is snatched out at the infant stage against commitments you have already made.
From what I gather of the US culture of individualism we have the situation where to make your mark you have to get off everyone's shoulders including your parents. But I believe it varies from person to person.
My father and grand father had an ideology of life though they had very different approaches to it in principle they were same, they had made many great achievements by the time they reached the the age I am now. Am I in any pressure to pick up the mantle like they did when they were my age No. Do I want to do something that would make them happy Yes.
Am I analyzing too much and missing the action, can I afford to go out and do what I wish with responsibilities I have?
Spiderman said " With great power comes great responsibility" and also what my Dad says all the time "Absolute Power Always Corrupts". So do i want to be the hermit renouncing everything? No.
I heard something peculiar when I came across a colleague who said "I am a Winner" this is commonly used in positive context to refer to the capability to compete and win in situations in Life.
In the context we were running against a tough timeline it was merely meant to motivate the group but for me it did not have that impact.
I was surprised at myself as to why I was reacting in such a manner, I was focused on surviving and existing for too long. Then I understood that why "I am a Winner!!" didn't make sense, because I was a Fighter and not necessarily a winner. I will fight with every challenge posed to me, winning or losing is merely a side affect.
Coming across people who have told me they have never failed in life, I believed they either convinced their failures were not their mistakes or were unable to see it when they failed.
I have always felt I have been honest about my failures in life and there have been plenty of them to chose from. I believe I learnt this from my Dad, no matter the challenge faced in life he has always stood up and faced not necessarily implying bravado but by not being bogged down by the circumstances.
Every person carries a shade of his or her parents in manners most unlikely, I believe this is what I have from my father and I am proud to be a Fighter and not a Winner!!
